In an intimate relationship or friendship, it can be challenging to know whether you are being harmed, especially if your partner says they love you, gives you a lot of attention, or pays for the shopping or rent. People who act abusively also can sometimes act loving and supportive as a way to keep you in the relationship, but their ‘loving’ actions does not mean that their abusive behavior is ok.

There are many types of violence and abuse which you can read more about here. 

  • Keeping track of everything you do
    • Monitoring what you’re doing all the time or asking where you are and who you’re with every second of the day
    • Demanding your passwords to social media sites and email accounts
    • Requesting that you reply right away to texts, emails, or calls
    • Preventing or discouraging you from seeing friends or family
    • Preventing or discouraging you from going to work or school
  • Being jealous, controlling, or angry
    • Acting very jealous, including continually accusing you of cheating
    • Having a quick temper, so you never know what you will do or say that may cause a problem
    • Controlling how you spend your money
    • Monitoring your use of medicines or birth control
    • Making everyday decisions for you that you usually decide for yourself (like what to wear or eat)
  • Demeaning you
    • Putting you down, such as insulting your appearance, intelligence, or activities
    • Humiliating you in front of others
    • Destroying your property or things that you care about
    • Blaming you for his or her violent outbursts
  • Physically hurting or threatening to hurt you or loved ones
    • Threatening to hurt you, the children, or other people or pets in your household
    • Hurting you physically (such as hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)
    • Using (or threatening to use) a weapon against you
    • Threatening to harm himself or herself when upset with you
  • Forcing you to have sex or other intimate activity
    • Forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to through physical force or threats
    • Assuming that consent for a sex act in the past means that you must participate in the same actions in the future
    • Assuming that consent for one activity means consent for a future activity or increased levels of intimacy (for example, assuming that kissing should lead to sex every time)

If you think someone is abusing you, get help.

Information from: www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/signs-abuse